A Gooder School

By Muthoni Garland

 

When I started school, barefoot toddler under tree

Education lost to happy monkeys that only I could see

chirping away at me, me, me

 

Frequent ruler lashes on the back of my palms

Meant I sorta, kinda understood the bigger sum

but I mighta missed minutiae…e.i.o.u)

 

Could be the fault was teacher’s not just ..well, um

Blackaloo Baboon showing off his ugly pink bum

Or the effing heat of equatorial sun

 

See I got a tick when poor was poorer and poorest

But teacher couldn’t say why bad wasn’t badder or baddest

As for better, betterer, bettererest…

Whack on back of hand! Whack! Whackier! Whackiestestest !

 

(crosseyes, faint****stars)

 

See English to Africa came on unforgiving colonial boat

So some, naturally, fell overboard, drowned in Indian sea

And some, through Mr. Igrish teacher, finally got through to me

 

I grasped vowels and alliteration akin to beat of village drum

aa, ee, ii, oo, uu !…rookaloo Blackaloo, I got one too, I got one too!

aa, ee, ii, oo, uu !…rookaloo Blackaloo, I got one too, I got one too!

 

Nouns equals subjects, verbs equals action, yes that came through

But nasty propositions and punctuation are still (and woe)

Subordinating, conjugating, and comma-ring on mud floor

 

Sperring, aras, is temporariray mispraced but I’m busy rooking for

 

And I am still masticating, reiterating, and enumerating

the only memorable resson of my gooder school

aa, ee, ii, oo, uu !…rookaloo Blackaloo, I got one too, I got one too!

aa, ee, ii, oo, uu !…rookaloo Blackaloo, I got one too, I got one too!