Storymoja
Photo by Jerry Riley. Click on image or Visit http://www.jerryriley.com/blog to see more pictures of Kenya
Every time I asked him he gave me yet another tale. First it was the long rains that had swept away everything in his shamba and then it was the sick cow that gave no more milk. Every day he got more creative. Sometimes I even laughed at his explanations, they were not funny, No!! But to seeing him dig into his mind for yet another lie, now that was funny.
But was I laughing because I couldn’t cry? Was I focusing on the lightness of the moment because if I dared focus on the seriousness of it something inside me would finally give? I don’t know!
At night I rehearsed the long speeches I would attack him with the following day. Quoting lines like ‘Give Caesar what belong to Caesar’ sometimes even imagining how I would punch him in the face and take whatever of his I could, but whenever I showed up at his door, my rehearsed speeches left me, my memory failed.
May be it was the sight of the stale yellowing ugali on the brown, once white saucer on the table. Maybe it was the buzzing flies that rested upon whatever they could. Maybe it was the suffocating stench that hit me whenever I stepped within ten feet of him… Whatever it was, it made my long rehearsed speeches vanish and instead they were replaced by a feeling of pity. And then after, I cursed myself for caving; for allowing mercy to take the better of me.
Mercy is how I got myself there in the first place. I shouldn’t have fallen for that story. ‘Ati baba yuko hospitali’ and barely two days later the guy was dishing out free drinks at the local drinking hole.
But how many lies had I fallen for?
When J. said he would marry me if I gave him a baby only to leave me for that girl who works at the drinking hole, I fell for that! And when S. told me she never even liked J. only to find out the two of them were playing grown up games behind my back. I fell for that too!
All he needed to do was act a little desperate and I would give him whatever money I had.
Honestly, I was willing to let it go, but when I saw him there, when I heard he was dishing out free drinks at the local bar, I had to do something.
That’s why I sent K. the muscle. I just asked him to scare the man and maybe take a few things here and there. Anything that I could sell and recover whatever he owed me. But when K. called me and told me he had finished him…. I honestly hadn’t asked him to do that.
So if I am guilty for any crime it is that of sending someone to take what rightfully belonged to me. Your Honor I would never kill a man!!
©Lilian Kithia
If you would like this piece to be the Story of the Week, please vote below on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being weak, and 10 being excellent. The numbers will be tallied on Friday and the story with the highest figure shall be Crowned Story of the Week. Be sure to fill in your name and verifiable email. You can include your critique/comment after the vote.
Discussion
44 Responses to “‘I didn’t do it’ by Lillian Kithia”
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Interesting! and you are guilty for being a good writer. I loved it. I vote 8.
Posted by Beatrice Wainaina | August 23, 2010, 5:04 amvery well done Kithia. I vote at 10 points.
Posted by Steven Owuor | August 23, 2010, 11:16 amA nice flow. Extreme imagination.Superb!
Posted by John Njiru | August 23, 2010, 11:28 amawesome. i rate it 9 n keep up the good work
Posted by catherine | August 23, 2010, 11:29 amI love everything about your story.i vote 9 out of ten.kip up the gud work gal n b more creative.
Posted by Grace Wanjiku | August 23, 2010, 11:37 amThanks Lil Kithia, tol you sometime ago you inspire me big. Yo a good writer.
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Martin Gicheru
Search Engine Expert
Posted by Martin Gicheru | August 23, 2010, 11:40 amA good one . keep going. i like and vote 8
Posted by Jyce Kathuri | August 23, 2010, 11:44 amThis piece is brilliantly written.Good work Lilian, I give 8.5 and my blessings too.
Posted by Merci | August 23, 2010, 11:47 amI honestly give 7.Nice one though.Happens in real life.
Posted by Kennedy | August 23, 2010, 11:48 amVote 10
Posted by dawooh | August 23, 2010, 12:09 pmhahah… I find you so guilty of being overly creative. Lovely piece that left me wondering. Are u really guity?
Posted by Allan Olingo | August 23, 2010, 12:16 pmLilian,
Great article as always…very interesting
Posted by John | August 23, 2010, 12:17 pmi vote 8 for it…
Posted by John | August 23, 2010, 12:18 pmooh sori i rate it 9!
Posted by Allan Olingo | August 23, 2010, 12:18 pm10
Posted by Zippy | August 23, 2010, 12:25 pmgotta hand it to you, you’ve got this beautiful way of soliloquizing – asking yourself all these rhetorical questions as you go along that makes your writing splendid.. but am wondering .. where you limited by word count? if you were, then you did pretty well, you’ve got a story somewhere in there, if you were not, i feel that we could have done with a little bit more detail,it needs more flesh. so my vote here depends on those two factors. with word count limitation, i would give vote 7.5 and without i would vote 4
Posted by Charles Njue | August 23, 2010, 12:50 pmYou are a great write I vote 9
Posted by Norman | August 23, 2010, 1:12 pmSuch an interesting story…..I give it an 8. I love the plot….
Posted by Kimanthi Njue | August 23, 2010, 1:26 pmAwsome, i shouldnt have read it coz now i want more…8.5 is yours my dear
Posted by Sermie Wamalwa | August 23, 2010, 1:31 pmI give it an 8.
Posted by Njenga Njeri | August 23, 2010, 1:47 pmThoughtful story. I vote 9
Posted by Carol | August 23, 2010, 2:16 pmYou must have been born thinking right from day 1 in your life . That story deserves a mmmwwahhh! i vote 9.
Posted by Kelvin Gitonga | August 23, 2010, 3:33 pmWay forward:
The storyline is captivating but the manuscript should be assessed well and changes to be effected in the cited areas in order for the manuscript to be adopted for publishing.It is good but requires a thorough revision and check up before getting published. The story may do well if published.
Strengths
1.The title ‘‘I didn’t do it’is relevant for the story since you have brought out the relevancy of the story.
2.You have used simple English that can be understood by the readers.
3.The story has good flow that is well understood by the readers.
4.The story looks interesting.
Posted by ALLOYS ANGAGA ONYISI | August 23, 2010, 3:54 pm07/10. just like my teacher, there is room for improvement.
Posted by munyi | August 23, 2010, 4:42 pmWay forward:
The storyline is captivating but the manuscript should be assessed well and changes to be effected in the cited areas in order for the manuscript to be adopted for publishing.It is good but requires a thorough revision and check up before getting published. The story may do well if published.
Strengths
1.The title ‘‘I didn’t do it’is relevant for the story since you have brought out the relevancy of the story.
2.You have used simple English that can be understood by the readers.
3.The story has good flow that is well understood by the readers.I vote 8
4.The story looks interesting.
Posted by ALLOYS ANGAGA ONYISI | August 23, 2010, 5:00 pmWOw…i love the twist…its a great piece and I VOTE 9.9. This are things that happen in our country and the story should be crowned story of the week…
Posted by Jaime | August 24, 2010, 9:47 amI vote 10,please crown this the story of the week…let people know that they should have good intentions always. It will be very educative because it captures every detail as it happens in real life. Congrats Lillian.
Posted by Njahira | August 24, 2010, 9:50 amWOw…i vote 9.9. It sounds more of a true story…thats a great writter…
Posted by Jaime | August 24, 2010, 9:52 amI vote 10. Great story…
Posted by Njahira | August 24, 2010, 9:57 amNot a bad story. Only that if it’s supppose to go with the provided photograph, then it doesn’t match. All the same, i vote 6.
Posted by Ruhama Wakawa | August 24, 2010, 12:54 pmTwo thumbs up!9 is my vote!
Posted by pithon | August 24, 2010, 4:35 pmThe writer has worked purely from the photo that was presented without the writers’ creative imagination…6
Posted by Eberekpe | August 25, 2010, 1:34 amI feel the story drags on for too long. I vote a 6 for it.
Posted by Maina | August 25, 2010, 8:27 ami vote 10 really great story. gud work Lilian
Posted by peris | August 25, 2010, 9:05 amI love the turnaround at the end. Perfectly serves the title of the story. I vote for 8.
Posted by Japheth Korir | August 25, 2010, 8:24 pmThat’s a captivating sory. I vote 10 for it. Keep on keeping on girl.
Posted by Florence W Nyagah | August 26, 2010, 2:53 pmThat’s a captivating story. I vote 10 for it. Keep on keeping on girl.
Posted by Florence W Nyagah | August 26, 2010, 2:54 pmI vote 10. This story is definately the best
Posted by Lennox Njeru | August 26, 2010, 4:48 pmawesome, i vote 10
Posted by amina | August 27, 2010, 9:20 pmKeep it up,i vote 8.5
Posted by steve njore | August 30, 2010, 3:08 pmm givin a 10…..its awsme
Posted by shila | September 1, 2010, 1:59 pmexcellent piece, may the best win. i give 8!
Posted by essie | September 21, 2010, 6:01 pmvery interesting!..give it a 9.5
Posted by eve | September 28, 2010, 3:23 pmYour story makes for an interesting read…love your imagination. You get 9.
Posted by Jenny Suena | September 29, 2010, 5:31 pm