Storymoja

Celebrating East African Writing!

Trouble by Annette Lutivini Majanja

Photo by Jerry Riley. Click on image or Visit http://www.jerryriley.com/blog to see more pictures of Kenya

They are talking about me as if am not here.  Dekka’s face is turned upwards; she is telling the clouds to hurry up and cover the sky so the sun won’t see what they are going to do to me. Mama‘s side glance keeps me glued in this position. I want to run as far as my wobbly legs will carry me. You know that look, all mothers have it. Where is sand when you need it? It’s not my fault.

I didn’t mean to disobey Mama; I didn’t mean to leave my baby sister all alone. I have been waiting for her more than anybody knows. I wanted her to hurry up and come out so that Mama could stop sending me all the time. Mama doesn’t realise am not a chick anymore, I’m almost as tall as she is now. I hardly get time to mix with the others these days. She’s always sitting there, watching precious Baby and interrupting my play to send me for one thing or the other.  Yesterday it was, “Mengo, go over that hill and tell Mama Nana that I got her message and I will reply tomorrow.” Why couldn’t just send me with the reply?

Today I asked, “Mama, will Baby come out today?” and mama eagerly replied, “Yes definitely today.” So when she went for her early morning walk and asked me to watch the egg I tried to wake her up. I whispered, “Hurry up and come out.” Baby remained silent and then Nana my best friend ran here shouting, “Hurry up Mengo! The others are going over to see the old haunted cave and if you don’t hurry up we will miss them.” “But I have to guard the baby; I have to wait for Mama to come back…” I resisted but Nana quickly interrupted, “Its morning, nothing bad happens in the morning,  the baby will be safe” and that’s how I left.

We had a great adventure but it’s no use telling you about it now. I got back and found Mama and Dekka waiting for me.  Mama was so angry she sent for Dekka immediately. I was excited to see Dekka, she always visits with surprises for me but then I saw her expression and realised I was in deep trouble.  I said, “Mama I am sorry” but Mama will not budge. Mama says I must be punished.  My face wears my most repentant expression. More remorseful than the day I was caught stealing Nana’s worms, that was a very bad day. I wish this baby would hurry up and come out of the shell and then they would have something else talk about.

© Annette Lutivini Majanja

If you would like this piece to be the Story of the Week, please vote below on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being weak, and 10 being excellent. The numbers will be tallied on Friday and the story with the highest figure shall be Crowned Story of the Week. Be sure to fill in your name and verifiable email. You can include your critique/comment after the vote.

24 comments on “Trouble by Annette Lutivini Majanja

  1. Wainaina
    August 30, 2010

    I vote a perfect 10! I have not read such great imagination before! This is genius! I am sincerely envious!

  2. Beatrice
    August 31, 2010

    i also vote 10, this is marvelous, interesting read…i can hardly wait to read what happens. WOW

  3. kyt
    August 31, 2010

    something to talk about indeed 8!

  4. angie
    September 1, 2010

    I vote 10….. i want more of this story..

  5. Janet
    September 9, 2010

    love it. can sort of relate to it.

  6. Sol
    September 10, 2010

    I vote 10 even though I know that she is just clearing her throat and she has not even begun to sing yet…she makes being a genius look so easy….

  7. annette
    September 10, 2010

    Thank you all for voting :-)

  8. Janet
    September 10, 2010

    great piece! we have all been in trouble some time.

  9. Alex
    September 13, 2010

    good one Annette. I give it 10

  10. merab
    September 14, 2010

    Excellent writing – I give it 10

  11. Lila Omari
    September 15, 2010

    i vote 10!! yeah way to go!

  12. Shiro
    September 16, 2010

    A perfect ten!!! i wanna know what happens next!!!

  13. Muteezy
    September 17, 2010

    Mystery mystery mystery! I like. There had better be a full version of this or else…

  14. Muteezy
    September 17, 2010

    I forgot to rate it…I give it a nine which would have been ten but for a missing word here:

    “Why couldn’t just send me with the reply?”
    It should have read
    “Why couldn’t SHE just send me with the reply?”

    Otherwise it’s a brilliant story!

  15. kandila
    September 19, 2010

    I give it a ten. Way to go annette!

  16. Elon
    September 19, 2010

    i crave for more..thats a 9 for me

  17. Ruth
    September 19, 2010

    10 IT IS!!I’VE READ IT THRICE:-)

  18. Robin Wachaga
    September 23, 2010

    A perfect 10 for me quite some suspense there

  19. Biche
    September 27, 2010

    Great story. What imagination! I enjoyed reading this very much!

  20. Abigail
    October 5, 2010

    Interesting!!!

  21. Murhoni
    October 11, 2010

    Wow!!!

    That is just awesome. I figure its too late too vote, but I would definitely give you a ten.

    Blessings!
    Muthoni

  22. ngwats
    October 12, 2010

    me too! 10!!

  23. evesreflections
    October 13, 2010

    A ha ha, just read this today and I love it. Too late I know, but it’s a 10!

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