Storymoja

Celebrating East African Writing!

Reader Advisory: Not for those Older than 19 or Younger than 14 By Munga G.

So that ka high school Chiquita of yours is giving you sleepless nights coz she thinks your letters are empty, take a sample and send her this, both her and the whole troop of girls that she reads your letters with are going to come after you, and dem boyz from your school will hear about your mistari and will come for advice, that is when you will contact me, you can call me ‘the vibe master.’

 

Niaje baibi?

Mi niko poa kabisa na sina noma isipokuwa just like Amani I am ‘missing my baby.’ Iza dat kuna njeve hizo sides, na hata mi matimes huwish ningekuwa karibu nawe ndio tu ‘stir it up’ ka Bob Marley. Ni poa kuskia that mi sio tenant wa roho yako bali mi ndio mwenye ploti, yani sole owner, juu hiyo pia ndio same situation na vile umeposes roho yangu.

Mi nahope bado unaendelea kutia ‘bidii’ ka Jua Cali na hizo mabooks, na hata kama minachukia ‘education’ system ka Dead Prez, ntakuencourage uendele kuwork hard. Ni poa kuskia dat u wanna share ma dreams with me, na most definitely ure most welcome kwenye huu mchezo wa sanaa. Jobo kuko poa, ni tu ku hustle ka kawaida na ka akina Busta Rhymes, I’m working hard to keep on making that ‘Arab money.’ Nataka kustart guitar lessons ndio ka Harry Kimani nikuwe nakuimbia ‘Haiya.’ Mabinti ni kibao, lakini sijui ka kuna mwenye ana crush on me, juu mi huwaga too thugsome, na anyway hakuna mwenye ameshow interest.

I did not get your mail last time. Hii ndio the first letter nimeget, na I really appreciate it. Hii yenye ulituma nimeipata leo furahi day 25th  na ndio nimekuwa nikichora reply for the whole weekend na imaliza leo Monday midnight. Ni comforting kuskia pia we huwaga na madesires ka zangu za ku crawl ‘underneath your clothes’ ka Shakira, manze pia mi nimemiss hizo gentle lips zako zikiwa in fusion na lips zangu, alafu vidole zangu zinado the walking ka yellow pages on your gorgeous body and booty. Nangojea sana hiyo day tutameet juu kupata kisses kutoka kwako itakuwa ka mvua kunyesha Turkana hii time ya ukame.

Najazika kuskia unatrust hii relationship yetu kugrow hadi unaniita hazi. Nipoa kuskia ati ata wewe ilikuwa a matter of love at first sight. Mi pia nimekuwa addicted kwako ka vile alcoholic ako addicted to alcohol na pia niko hooked on you like the way a junkie is hooked on to drugs. Kumanisha bila wewe siwezi feel high, kumanisha bila wewe naeza end up either kuwa msick ama kudie. Ka mi ndio ‘sunshine’ wako ka Nameless and Habida, ntahakikisha no cloud blocks me from covering you with my warm rays.

I’m privileged kuskia ati mi ndio mchizi wa kwanza umeshawai feel strongly for, coz even for me sijapata manzi all round ka wewe mwenye na feel so much. Ni poa kuskia mi ni techa mpoa kwa ma love lessons. Lakini we kwangu ni ka wale watu hudomesticate ma wild  animals, minilikuwa rude bwoy lakini ukanigeuza nika kuwa ka doggy zile zi hukuwa loyal to their masters. Ka happiness yako ni kucheki nikiwa happy and at peace, na we ndio the only one hunipa happiness then my happiness = ???

Ata ka saa zingine mi hupatwa na mawazo za kishetani ka Juliani, jua kama vile we ulidaisha hutawai break my heart, nor will you be unfaithfull, at mi nimetake that vow. Juu unlike Rihannah, mi staki kuwa ‘unfaithfull.’ Hata ka naeza saka dunia nzima, hamna hata manzi mmoja anaeza take even a ¼ of my heart from you coz wee ni m amaizing tu sana, na ka Klepto na Ulopa, we ni msichana ‘high class’ and so ‘magnetic’

Juu ya kutoonana opening day, usikonde coz nimecheki zile sacrifices umemake in the past ndio tuwe pamoja so siwezi kufume coz of dat. Ni poa kuskia ukirecognise na kuappreciate dat niliacha kulewa excessively coz of you. We ni abgel God akakutuma ndio unibadilishe. Ka XYZ, everything I do ni ‘juu yako.’ You are the only reason mi huvumilia ma challenges za life coz you are all that matters to me.

Manze iza juu ya kuwa moody at times, si kutaka kwangu, but thanks for speaking out and telling me to my face that hivyo ndio mi huwanga. With time najua ntakuwa order, ofcourse with your help. Na appreciate that we hucheki bidii yangu, na pia kujiamini kwangu. Sitawai mind maneno ya watu juu nikimind itafanya tuachane, which is suicidal.

Obviously hii barua haiwezi kukamilika bila kuku big up for remembering my birthday. Isikujalishe ka card ni poa ama si poa, what matters ni vile unaintend ukiituma,na content yake, mi najua we umeituma na love, and that’s what matters. Sijui vile naeza kushow appreciation. You are the only person huniappreciate na kunikumbuka in the way you do, umekuwa ni ka siz, mwenye hunisupport ata nikiwa wrong anani encourage kutrend the right  path. Umekuwa ka mathe, mwenye hubear na mtoi wake no matter what. You are my everything, na roho ina feel poa ukijitambua ka Mrs. Munga.

Hope you do not mind kutumia swah, ama ndio shen’g. Ni vile dis dayz ngoso imekuwa xcess na kuweza kukuandikia bila kuhave kufollow rules za kuandika ni ka kupata break after double lesson ya math ama physo. Speaking of math, umenishow ati unanipenda uncountable times, mi nakupenda uncountable times × uncountable times to the power of uncountable + uncountable. Answer ni???

Ngoma ya kuku dedicatia ni simple sana lakin words zina uzito hata kuliko lead. Ni song labda umeskia, ama bado, ni song favouriote yangu.

SURA NA TABIA by Alai K. ft Chzn Brain.

Ni hiyo tabia yako, na huo uzuri wako

Linganisha na roho yako, umbo lako

Ni hiyo tabia yako? Mama, na huo uzuri wako? Tena sana

Linganisha na roho yako, umbo lako

Niregeshe mwangaza wangu wa jua

Ninauhitaji kama mwezi usiku wa mvua ah ah ahhh

Naota ndoto zako, mchana na usiku

Wiki noaona miaka mingi

Ni hiyo tabia yako? Mama, na huo uzuri wako ten asana

Linganisha na roho yako, umbo lako? Mama

Ni hiyo tabia yako?

Chzn brain;

Unang’a kama nyota porini, nimulikie njia dada

Jicho langu pofu niamini nisipokuwa na wewe mama

Moyo una mapovu kwa wingi niliyotenda kwako dada

Maishani mimi mchovu maskini ninakuhitaji ma

Forgive me kwa maovu lakini sitakukosea dada

Sura yangu mbovu lakini moyo mtulizu mama

Believe umbavu wa Ian ndio uliumba Shiro

Unang’a kama jua ni kitu minsha tambua.

Niregeshe mwangaza wangu wa jua

Na huo uzuri wako tena sana

Ninauhitaji kama mwezi? Linganisha roho yako

Umbo lako? Mama

Ni hiyo tabia yako

Niregeshe mwangaza wangu wa jua.

Dedz

2) Haiya- HARRY KIMANI.

3) Nakupenda- HARRY KIMANI.

4) Rita- MARLAW

5) Hold my hand- AKON ft MICHEAL JACKSON.

PLIZ USISAHAU KUNICALL MKIISHIA MIDI 8TH

With mush love and admiration,

MUNGA .G

© Munga G. 2009

If you would like this piece to be the Story of the Week, please vote below on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being weak, and 10 being excellent. The numbers will be tallied on Friday and the story with the highest figure shall be Crowned Story of the Week. Be sure to fill in your name and verifiable email. You can include your critique/comment after the vote.

 

 

3 comments on “Reader Advisory: Not for those Older than 19 or Younger than 14 By Munga G.

  1. Kyt
    October 28, 2009

    Too long i read the first 10 lines then switched off. 2 for the effort!

  2. Raymond Bett
    November 9, 2009

    That is a wonderful written piece. That kagirl will surely know that u think of her all the time, especially when listening to music. Reminiscing the times in high school written with today’s high schooler in mind.
    Keep it up. I give it a 7.

  3. Randall
    March 12, 2013

    Hello, just wanted to say, I enjoyed this blog post.
    It was funny. Keep on posting!

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