Storymoja

Celebrating East African Writing!

Diary of a disillusioned soul by Nancy Biwott

There are some myths I have lived with for some time. And at last I am being forced to grow up. Let me list three of those myths; that hard work always pays, that the good Lord will reward those who do good and that if it was meant for you it will come to pass no matter what.

How come that all that the hardworking people seem to achieve is to continue working hard? Haven’t we all seen that hardworking man who has done so much for his family, and who retires to face poverty at the end? They say we should work smart and not work hard like donkeys. People who say that seem to take many short cuts in life, sometimes leaving a trail of destruction behind them. Broken families, shattered principles, messes for other people to clear…or not. But they get to the top and seem to be happy. Is that what life is? Is that the secret? To get to the top no matter the people we step on to get there or die trying?

Faith and prayers can move mountains, they say. Does it mean only a few have faith and know how to really pray? How come those who appear to be most financially successful admit to having no faith? And lets be honest, success is closely related to the finances. Some appear to actually have no scruples. Someone (Karl Marx I think) actually said religion is the opium of the masses. That people wait on the Supreme Being to help them instead of fighting to better their lot. They say God helps those who help themselves. At what point does our knock get the door opened?

At what point does God come in when I have kicked the door open by giving a bribe? If I don’t give the bribe, won’t the opportunity go another person who gives it? Yeah, change has to begin with me. But will this change feed my hungry family like the needed income would have?

Yeah. It must be true to some extent that some people lead a charmed life. Things seem to always drop on their lap. This is the kind of life we all wish we had. However, for the normal people out there, doesn’t everyone have at least some lucky breaks in their life? The so called fifteen minutes of fame? Or is this for the few? What about the graduate who has hunted for a job for seven years? What about the man whose family has been evicted from the plot he bought in the ‘’other community’s’’ village? Or the mama who just found out her husband has raped her girl? Surely something has got to give?

I don’t wish to be so cynical…but. Its like life is trying to suck out all my positive thinking right out of me. It is like the dreams are being ripped apart from me and forcing me to think that I was living a lie. I remember a friend telling me that the mom had died due to broken dreams. I want to shout that I believe in science and I know she died from stroke. But don’t they say stroke is a product of stress? Yeah, I remember him telling me that she had so many dreams for a good life. The sort of dreams we all have…good life, good family, good job, and good children? Can dreaming of having these kill?

Hhmm. What about people like American president Barack Obama? People who fought almost against all the odds and won? People must have told him to stop being a dreamer…that it could never happen for him. But it did. That makes me believe dreams are for the living. It will happen for you, it must! We cannot afford apathy. This is us; this is ours! For what is life without dreams of a better tomorrow? Ecclesiastes in the bible says better a living dog than a dead lion. For without hope we might as well lie down and die!

© Nancy Biwott 2009

If you would like this piece to be the Story of the Week, please vote below on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being weak, and 10 being excellent. The numbers will be tallied on Tuesday 28th July and the story with the highest figure shall be Crowned Story of the Week. Be sure to fill in your name and verifiable email. You can include your critique/comment after the vote.

Diary of a disillusioned soul

There are some myths I have lived with for some time. And at last I am being forced to grow up. Let me list three of those myths; that hard work always pays, that the good Lord will reward those who do good and that if it was meant for you it will come to pass no matter what.

How come that all that the hardworking people seem to achieve is to continue working hard? Haven’t we all seen that hardworking man who has done so much for his family, and who retires to face poverty at the end? They say we should work smart and not work hard like donkeys. People who say that seem to take many short cuts in life, sometimes leaving a trail of destruction behind them. Broken families, shattered principles, messes for other people to clear…or not. But they get to the top and seem to be happy. Is that what life is? Is that the secret? To get to the top no matter the people we step on to get there or die trying?

Faith and prayers can move mountains, they say. Does it mean only a few have faith and know how to really pray? How come those who appear to be most financially successful admit to having no faith? And lets be honest, success is closely related to the finances. Some appear to actually have no scruples. Someone (Karl Marx I think) actually said religion is the opium of the masses. That people wait on the Supreme Being to help them instead of fighting to better their lot. They say God helps those who help themselves. At what point does our knock get the door opened?

At what point does God come in when I have kicked the door open by giving a bribe? If I don’t give the bribe, won’t the opportunity go another person who gives it? Yeah, change has to begin with me. But will this change feed my hungry family like the needed income would have?

Yeah. It must be true to some extent that some people lead a charmed life. Things seem to always drop on their lap. This is the kind of life we all wish we had. However, for the normal people out there, doesn’t everyone have at least some lucky breaks in their life? The so called fifteen minutes of fame? Or is this for the few? What about the graduate who has hunted for a job for seven years? What about the man whose family has been evicted from the plot he bought in the ‘’other community’s’’ village? Or the mama who just found out her husband has raped her girl? Surely something has got to give?

I don’t wish to be so cynical…but. Its like life is trying to suck out all my positive thinking right out of me. It is like the dreams are being ripped apart from me and forcing me to think that I was living a lie. I remember a friend telling me that the mom had died due to broken dreams. I want to shout that I believe in science and I know she died from stroke. But don’t they say stroke is a product of stress? Yeah, I remember him telling me that she had so many dreams for a good life. The sort of dreams we all have…good life, good family, good job, and good children? Can dreaming of having these kill?

Hhmm. What about people like American president Barack Obama? People who fought almost against all the odds and won? People must have told him to stop being a dreamer…that it could never happen for him. But it did. That makes me believe dreams are for the living. It will happen for you, it must! We cannot afford apathy. This is us; this is ours! For what is life without dreams of a better tomorrow? Ecclesiastes in the bible says better a living dog than a dead lion. For without hope we might as well lie down and die!

© Nancy Biwott 2009

If you would like this piece to be the Story of the Week, please vote below on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being weak, and 10 being excellent. The numbers will be tallied on Tuesday 28th July and the story with the highest figure shall be Crowned Story of the Week. Be sure to fill in your name and verifiable email. You can include your critique/comment after the vote.

4 comments on “Diary of a disillusioned soul by Nancy Biwott

  1. Gitura Kihuria
    July 24, 2009

    It reads like the book of Lamentations and Nancy seems to be having some beef with God for some unanswered prayers.

    Anyway, I like it coz it raises personal questions that we raise with our inner self when life seems to be hard on us(especially when we think we r doing the right thing).

    I wonder what Chiira thinks.

    It has to be an 8 for me.

  2. deniskabi
    July 27, 2009

    The story reads like ‘proetry’ – the fusion of prose and poetry.

    I agree that the narrator seems to have beef with religion or even God. It’s like she is disillusioned by biblical teachings.

    The phrase ‘God helps those who helps themselves’ has been proven not to appear anywhere in the bible. Someone just made it up.

    Anyway, keep writing.

    I vote 6

  3. Mercy Adhiambo
    July 29, 2009

    Nice, I love it. Good style of writing.

  4. kitoo
    August 6, 2009

    nice read i actually agree with the writer on many issues and yes it is in the bible “God helps those who helps those in the bible” just read the bible carefully you will see it written all over from Genesis to Revelations

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