Celebrating East African Writing!
I am sure you are anxious to know what the decision is on the winning conspiracy theory. The judges chewed quite hard on their pencils but finally came to a decision. Below, you will find the judges comments as well as one chosen comment from the readers on each story.
Well, here it is.
“The title is a bit boring but the story is great. A twist to a prominent journalist’s love-money-murder mess and the girl comes back as a ghost and talks to her killer.”
“It’s a conspiracy theory. One point for that. I was a little confused in the beginning but I held on and it started to make sense. A lot of sense. Nearly called the police to tell them who the killer was. The middle and the end were brilliant. Work needed for the introduction.”
“Great interplay between the dead and the living…”
Simon: I liked the story even though I thought some of the lines seemed cliche. I liked the dialogue also. It seemed real enough with the spirit/ghost having a wicked sense of humor.
“He knows his way around words. The best thing is that he creates a mystery about the ‘rumours’ before setting out whatever is happening.”
“The writer understood the instructions. He wrote a story based on the Marsabit plane crash. Good story. Good self editing. A few mistakes with the use of prepositions and punctuation(capital letters).”
“Another conspiracy theory. Good writing. A bit of work needed on the grammar.”
Moraa: You could improve on the descriptions. Get the reader to visualize it, even touch it. Towards the end it came out as though you couldn’t wait to finish. In conclusion, I find your work creative. Its a good way to go. Keep it up! U are headed places.
Dalle Abraham wins a copy of Living Memories by Al Kags, 2 Season Tickets to the Storymoja Hay Festival.
“This writer tried to rework a story about Tasha & Adam, into a conspiracy theory about Robert Ouko. And it showed.”
“A tad too static and it became more about Tasha and Adam than it was about Robert Ouko. The writer rushed through it or maybe it was a longer story that she edited to make it fit the word count.”
“I particularly love the ending, where everything goes on as ‘normal’.”
Phillis: It’s a conspiracy alright but you make it a dull one! What if you gave the story more details to create the urge to read on and on?
Ruth Lucinde wins 1 Season Ticket to the Storymoja Hay Festival.
For more information about the Storymoja Hay Festival, please visit the festival site.