Celebrating East African Writing!

Hanging by a Moment by Teresa Maina

I have already moved on. I used to lie to him whenever he asked me that question. That was only because I always wanted to look stronger than he thought that I was. Deep within my heart though I still loved him and never stopped hoping that one day he would change his mind and tell me that I was the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

However, that never happened. We met in class in college and the moment I saw him my heart literally skipped a beat. Somehow we became desk mates and soon we were almost always together. I missed every moment that I was not with him and for that I would write messages with the silliest of contents. It didn’t matter that I saw him every evening I just wanted to keep in touch. We became dear friends and everyone else in class thought that we were an item. Some even could not help commenting what a perfect match of a couple we were. If only they knew.

One day I decided enough was enough and I decided that I would let the cat out of the bag by confessing my true feelings. Oops! Gals, don’t do that! I hear you say………..not me I am daring. He was quiet but I took that to mean he felt something too but at the present nothing doing. It took him another 8 months to share his feelings. I should have leapt with joy but I was sad. Sad in knowing that we could never have a relationship. Despite our deep friendship, we had these differences that none of us could afford to compromise on for a relationship.

Therefore as we talked we decided that the only way forward was to remain “just friends”. True as our feelings were. I will however never forget that evening. As long as I live it will forever be engraved in my memory. We talked about many things, watched movies and enjoyed the golden silence of each other’s company. I never at one second felt awkward in his presence and I thank the Almighty for that moment. As I left for my place, I was smiling because I knew that I would hang on that moment forever. I made many more visits but none could beat that moment.

Still my fear of heartbreaks kept me away from him. I found myself avoiding him but we kept meeting. And with each meeting, the memory of that moment replayed in my mind. How could I move on from this? I, consequently, decided the only way to pretend that I had gotten over him was to pretend that I had actually done so and then maybe I would in reality.

That never happened. We shared so many groups and classes that our paths kept crossing. Again I never thought that I would stand hearing or seeing another chick with him though I had promised to respect his future decisions as he would mine. One day he said that he wanted to share something with me and I thought finally!!!!!!!!!!!! The guy had come to his senses. Oh how wrong I was.

He had only come to tell me that he had found someone else. Though, I had been suspecting it, I had not wanted to believe it. I made another promise that I never intended to keep that nothing was going to change between us. I cried that night and the moment replayed in my mind. I had never intended to let go but it was like I was being forced to.

As a “good friend” I was even supposed to offer advice! What irony?

It has been 5 years since our friendship started and 6 months since his heart wrecking revelation and still after all this time.  I AM STILL HANGING BY THAT MOMENT.

©Teresa W. Maina 2009

If you would like this piece to be the Story of the Week, please vote below on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being weak, and 10 being excellent. The numbers will be tallied on Friday and the story with the highest figure shall be Crowned Story of the Week. Be sure to fill in your name and verifiable email. You can include your critique/comment after the vote.


2 comments on “Hanging by a Moment by Teresa Maina

  1. oluochcliff
    June 11, 2009

    How sad! And are you still waiting? Sniff sniff.

    7 for your effort.


  2. ben thuku
    June 17, 2009

    its so real i felt the pain…i give it a 9…


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