Celebrating East African Writing!

Aston Martins – Dear Doris

Written by Sketch Arunga

Dear Doris,

I do not have an Aston Martin… If I did I wouldn’t be planning on bitching on what I am just about to bitch about!!

So a friend of mine calls me up and asks if we could meet up… We spoke last in 2006…. In high school. Let’s call him Victor*. I am down with the plan. I ask him to come to Sarit because town is just a hustle and I had some work to finish at the office.

Be advised, I went to Barding High School… Google it… “Did you mean boarding high school?” It’s not on *%#$* Google!! I am not even sure if I got secondary education!!

Moving on..

So he calls me that he is at Sarit waiting by the gate!! At the gate!! This tells you of the oncoming mayhem!!

We go to a coffee shop and I quickly order for a glass of juice… this always serves as an idea to the other person about how much money I have to spend!!! The most you can order is two glasses of juice….

“Mimi nataka food….”  He says!! I am in shock.. That menu has nothing less than 330/= on the food part!

“Steak iko…na rice??” My heart stopped!! THAT’S 780/= DID HE @#$%* SEE THAT!!???

“Na mango juice.”  He comfortably adds!!!


I am hyperventilating… my palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy…..

I totally zoned out… I heard absolutely nothing he said until the steak came… From the menu it looked like they would bring a cow in lingerie wearing a ribbon!!

The bill came to 1020/= COMPLETELY DISTRAUGHT!

On our way out he asks me for some money to start a business!!

People…. Me wearing expensive shirts and shoes and FACE does NOT mean I am rich!! Behind my expensive designer clothes lies THE HUSTLE…

P.s I am listening to Usher’s Nice and slow I like when he keeps on repeating…”I’ll freak you right I will.”

That is all…

RANDOM… please check this out kuweni serious!

That is all.

©Sketch 2011 See more of Sketch’s Dear Doris Letters at


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