Times are hard by Nikko Tanui

Times are hard especially financially, however, my girlfriend does not seem to realize the whole world is undergoing something called recession.

But what can one expect from someone who when the business section in the news bulletin come on TV she would rather grab the remote control and watch a boring advert in another channel?

Therefore, I have been thinking of ways to introduce her to the word recession and the measure that I intend to take to keep us afloat, at least until the economy turns around.

Here is my letter which I am going leave on the table for my  girlfriend who is still enjoying her sleep in the bedroom and mark you  its around  8am (sometimes I wish I was  a woman and had a man take care of me and my needs)

Anyway, dear friends and readers, please pray for me that when I will come back, I would not find that she has packed and left a brother because he is taking burst.

Here is the letter,

Dear Apple,

I know you have occasionally woken up to find that I have left you a page of a romantic poem but today not even a single line for a poem because of  this scary thing going around the world  and it not swine flu, it is  called recession.

Please don’t be upset by my observation but I bet that had you  been paying  attention and made appoint of not missing the news just like you would be literally depressed if you missed your favorite soap opera, you would have heard of how the world economy is literally tumbling down.

Around our neighborhood you must have heard of the escalating cases of robberies and mugging going on, yes that is the manifestation of recession. Now I hope you will understand support me in this simple adjustments to your lifestyle that is until we cross over the financial rough parts.

Yes, I am aware that you are not much of a cook since most of the meals that we have enjoyed together were not from my little poor kitchen but from hotels. I know that your mother did not raise you to end up in the kitchen but let me dare suggest that you buy a cookery or any  other recipe book and  think of those  awesome meals we would enjoy  that your hands would make.

It is not that I am saying that you are not in my heart you are but I would like to remind you the after all is said and done the best guarantee is still the old saying that  the way to  man’s heart is through his stomach. Just think about it.

The scriptures say that the crown or jewel (please bear with me I don’t remember which is which because it has been a long time since I read  the bible) of  a woman is her hair and I know how you love changing your hair style like you change shoes and I think we need to address that too.

You know that though my mum never went to any hairdressing school, and in spite of her limited tools of trade God knows she has literally made many of local housewives and house helps turns head with her braiding skills at her saloon in the house veranda.

I know that she is the least of your favorite people but she is not a bad woman as you would like the world to think, in this point and time, please let her wash and set or   braid your hair, it would be a chance for you to bond with her and oh how happy would I be when my two favorite women get along!

I know how much you love shopping for new clothes, shoes and bags how much would  you save me the thoughts of thinking of robbing my poor employer to have some money to buy you all those dresses that make your heart beat faster and your eyes to nearly pop out of their sockets when you see them displayed in the boutique window if you would look the other way when we pass near any of the damned boutiques.

Baby, for instance, the last time I checked you have dozens of good clothes that are being eaten away by molds because you hardly ever wear them, I guess it’s time you checked them out and brought them out of the closest.

For instance there is that red dress you last wore on valentine day, man, that dress fitted you and revealed your figure and curves in way that nearly make me go crazy and have you  right there  in the foyer of that hotel I was waiting for you to turn up for our date.

It is time you wore that dress at least for me on any other ‘ordinary’ day, please let next year’s valentine day take care of itself.

Let me not even begin talking about shoes and bags. You just have it all. I could go on but I got to run because am getting late for work and you know this days employers are just looking for a slightest excuse to lay off employees.

Just to sign off, baby I pray you will understand that I am not changing to be a mean person and would support me in my small mission to ensure that the bills that there is no way they can be escaped are paid and in time.

Yours faithfully,

Nick

© Nick Tanui 2009

If you would like this piece to be the Story of the Week, please vote below on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being weak, and 10 being excellent. The numbers will be tallied on Friday 24th July and the story with the highest figure shall be Crowned Story of the Week. Be sure to fill in your name and verifiable email. You can include your critique/comment after the vote.

<!–[if !mso]> <! st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } –>

TIMES ARE HARD; A LETTER TO MY GIRLFRIEND -BY NIKKO TANUI 
 
Times are hard especially financially, however, my girlfriend does not seem to realize the whole world is undergoing something called recession. 
  
But what can one expect from someone who when the business section in the news bulletin come on TV she would rather grab the remote control and watch a boring advert in another channel? 
  
Therefore, I have been thinking of ways to introduce her to the word recession and the measure that I intend to take to keep us afloat, at least until the economy turns around. 
  
Here is my letter which I am going leave on the table for my  girlfriend who is still enjoying her sleep in the bedroom and mark you  its around  8am (sometimes I wish I was  a woman and had a man take care of me and my needs) 
  
Anyway, dear friends and readers, please pray for me that when I will come back, I would not find that she has packed and left a brother because he is taking burst. 
  
Here is the letter, 
  
Dear Apple, 
  
I know you have occasionally woken up to find that I have left you a page of a romantic poem but today not even a single line for a poem because of  this scary thing going around the world  and it not swine flu, it is  called recession. 
  
Please don’t be upset by my observation but I bet that had you  been paying  attention and made appoint of not missing the news just like you would be literally depressed if you missed your favorite soap opera, you would have heard of how the world economy is literally tumbling down. 
  
Around our neighborhood you must have heard of the escalating cases of robberies and mugging going on, yes that is the manifestation of recession. Now I hope you will understand support me in this simple adjustments to your lifestyle that is until we cross over the financial rough parts.    
  
Yes, I am aware that you are not much of a cook since most of the meals that we have enjoyed together were not from my little poor kitchen but from hotels. I know that your mother did not raise you to end up in the kitchen but let me dare suggest that you buy a cookery or any  other recipe book and  think of those  awesome meals we would enjoy  that your hands would make. 
  
It is not that I am saying that you are not in my heart you are but I would like to remind you the after all is said and done the best guarantee is still the old saying that  the way to  man’s heart is through his stomach. Just think about it. 
  
The scriptures say that the crown or jewel (please bear with me I don’t remember which is which because it has been a long time since I read  the bible) of  a woman is her hair and I know how you love changing your hair style like you change shoes and I think we need to address that too. 
  
You know that though my mum never went to any hairdressing school, and in spite of her limited tools of trade God knows she has literally made many of local housewives and house helps turns head with her braiding skills at her saloon in the house veranda. 
  
I know that she is the least of your favorite people but she is not a bad woman as you would like the world to think, in this point and time, please let her wash and set or   braid your hair, it would be a chance for you to bond with her and oh how happy would I be when my two favorite women get along! 
  
I know how much you love shopping for new clothes, shoes and bags how much would  you save me the thoughts of thinking of robbing my poor employer to have some money to buy you all those dresses that make your heart beat faster and your eyes to nearly pop out of their sockets when you see them displayed in the boutique window if you would look the other way when we pass near any of the damned boutiques. 
  
Baby, for instance, the last time I checked you have dozens of good clothes that are being eaten away by molds because you hardly ever wear them, I guess it’s time you checked them out and brought them out of the closest. 
  
For instance there is that red dress you last wore on valentine day, man, that dress fitted you and revealed your figure and curves in way that nearly make me go crazy and have you  right there  in the foyer of that hotel I was waiting for you to turn up for our date. 
  
It is time you wore that dress at least for me on any other ‘ordinary’ day, please let next year’s valentine day take care of itself. 
  
Let me not even begin talking about shoes and bags. You just have it all. I could go on but I got to run because am getting late for work and you know this days employers are just looking for a slightest excuse to lay off employees. 
  
Just to sign off, baby I pray you will understand that I am not changing to be a mean person and would support me in my small mission to ensure that the bills that there is no way they can be escaped are paid and in time. 
  
Yours faithfully, 
Nick 
 
 
© Nick Tanui 2009